The past 585 posts have been a lesson in why not to do drugs, I have a definitive rock star mentality in my previous posts. I notice that there is a part of my brain that is not affected by drugs whatsoever and even three weeks ago on lithium carbonate 1500mg and invega 500mg I knew there was something wrong with me, the entire brain is not affected by drugs, but the part of it that is is deeply affected, you’re not entirely gone doing drugs but if you notice that your life is fucked up it’s because your decision making abilities are.
I am not a drug taking rock star. I’m not. I’m a quiet stay out of trouble intelligent humble university graduate that enjoy writing poetry. I just can’t be fucked to admit that my normal wife and my normal job and my normal kid are gone.
Now i’m a 37 year old former drug abuser that has a University credentials and is 20 years behind my younger brother adam in society. My younger brother adam never took drugs a day in his LIFE and he graduated from ohio state and went on to a stellar corporate career in finance. He has a beautiful soul mate for a wife and two stellar beautiful children.
Everyone I know that ever took state or street drugs is leading a fucked up rock star life and I don’t live that life. I was 20 years old the first time I did drugs and I cleaned out today of the drugs in my life by not doing them. I didn’t want to do the drugs I did but in my professional network drugs were the past time of choice. I am not a drug user by nature. I don’t do drugs. I function at an alpha university level and on drugs I am a c university student with no accolades clean of drugs I am a functioning member of the elite intelligence in the United States of America with this writing here proof of that.
In this A B test of drugs and no drugs. Notice the entire bottom half of this website and then notice the entire top half. My goal is to take to my psychiatrist and enable him to understand my need for sobriety. I am always in thought of the most abstract redundant fucked up thoughts on drugs and off drugs my mind is clear.
My mind is currently clear and I need to be that way to function. I need to avoid weed and alcohol and all drugs. I need to stay clear of drugs.
I am in the full knowledge that today I am who I am. After a and in the process of exiting a 15 year ordeal with state and street drugs I find that clean works fine for me. I cannot function and get my life together on drugs because I cannot make qualitatively superior university graduate decisions on drugs. I do not use words like qualitative on drugs in a cogent fashion. My vocabulary is where it needs to be right now.
I need to elevate from this position and reposition myself as a drug free leader in society. I disdain drugs whole heartedly. They lack the euphoria I seek in my drug life. In my drug life there are sensations that are pleasant but harmful. Iodine IV injections that I took as a paid research subject at the University of Cincinnati is my ideal drug. I prefer of the drugs that I have done to do an Iodine drip. It’s a warm sensation and most people might not know of an IV Iodine drip. It’s my preferred drug.
I don’t know how else to put this. I can’t function on drugs. I did so much business on drugs that I need to reevalute who I am. I just know I lost out on loves, lost out on businesses, lost out on cash acruement, lost out on lasting relationships, I was the fucked up everyone thought I was because I was on drugs. I need to rebuild my reputation with society surrounding me.
I think definitively poor decisions on drugs. I think funny thoughts. I am funnier on drugs and meaner and angrier and less stable and more hateable. No one hates me off drugs. My family my friends my city hates me when I do drugs and the state of ohio got confused by my family when 15 years ago they admitted me to the state hospital because after returning from a trip to rendevous with my love mate i met in london who was from vancouver to be in a documentary about mental illness that was bogus, I went on to experience 15 years of at my family’s discretion, state authorized drug treatments for my mental illness that did not exist. My mother did not want me to start the first family as the eldest of four children she wanted my youngest brother to to do that to carry on the family line.
I am not the first born with the first child the way god intended my life to be and normal and a success in the state of ohio. Today I am a role model. the last 15 years of my life cannot qualify as role modeling.
I know for a fact that there is nothing wrong with me but a bold stance on not taking drugs is offensive to an ever drug taking society. Just taking the stance that drugs are harmful is the new evil. So I will be the new evil. I will stand on not taking drugs.
I can write longer form writing and i do not have to go with worrying about feeling in my writing I can not write with my logic off drugs. On drugs everything has to feel right to pursue as an activity. It has to feel right.
I am do not take drugs.
I am currently clear headed and am in search of the drugs I took in xenia ohio at their state hospital, the state hospital in cincinnati ohio and the state hospital i attended in london and the state hospital i attended in new york city.
I need a comprehensive list of drugs I took so that I can stand next to all of them and state not these. Not these drugs. I need to know what went into my body so that I can state not in anyone else’s body.
This stance involves major changes to the legislative process and power of the state and the federal government. Stating that drugs are nonconducive to a working society. I am interested in taking down drugs and reevaluting their performance in society noting that AB Double Blind studies take into account the need for a drug to receive FDA approval to make the next revenue worth it. Noting that new zealand and the united states of america are the the only planetary states that conduce drugs in society is enough of a reason to be afraid of this stance.
I know that the United States of America is not operating at an optimal level because of drugs. The drugs we need to be taking are stretching excercises. When you engage in healthy drug use such as pushing your fingers against each other and releasing endorphins from your first knuckles, or when you stretch your elbows back and release endorphins from your spine stretching, or when you engage in heavy work out, or walk for 4 hours to exhaustion, that is a healthy drug regimine. Masturbating and releasing an orgasm is a healthy drug though the body does become confused when it is masturbating to the extent that the penis need to be in the vagina to experience healthy climax. Sex is a healthy drug.
There are false dicotomies out there purporting to be in favor of the human condition when really what is at stake is refinancing families that are in the drug trade. When you take a drug business and inform it it is in violation of the human condition the source of that mantra becomes a target as drugs are cheap money. You take a lot of land you plant a seed you wait and then you mark up your product 15,000% it’s a cash cow but it is a cheap cash cow. When you take a company like eli lilly they take an element such as lithium and buy it in bulk reduce it down to pill counts and mass produce it off an assembly line and then require states to administer it to people so that they can collect insurance money.
We have the perfect drugs within us. Your body is built to heal. My body healed today. I am healthy NOW. I was not yesterday. The drugs in my body have completed exiting out of my system. I am healthy today. I wrote this today. The need for cash is important for families to build power. That is fake finance. There is a need to take a consumer uneducated population that cannot defend itself against an empire of greed and states get involved in the cash grab and force people that cannot defend themselves to take drugs in the name of mental health.
It needs to stop. The drug enforcement agency’s stance on drugs is corrupt in the sense that they take the drugs and resell them in the federal government’s name. There is no drug finer than stretching and orgasm and exhaustion and working out but that cannot be sold. In capitalistic society this is a transgressive statement in the sense that it points out the illigitimacy of drugs in a healthy lifestyle. Cocaine is inhaling dried gasoline. That is not a drug of use.
There is a clean healthy lifestyle that I am writing about that is not in existence because women are turned on by fake power and fake experiences in regards to drugs. I might do drugs again tomorrow because I would be forced to but I wrote this today.
The human body is built to heal but if you poison it past the point of no return you will die. You can heal from your drug use and start stretching and pushing your fingers together to release endorphins and pulling your elbows back powerfully to release endorphins and you will experience the perfect drug. It’s that cash being traded for drugs is the power of drugs not in the best interest of a working society. Drugs are the problem.